Nothing Gets Crossed Out

Protected: 01/03/’11

pullllmyhair — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 21:50:48 +0000

This post is password protected. You must visit the website and enter the password to continue reading.

:D

pullllmyhair — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 22:47:45 +0000

I’m happy. Yup. I am actually just so happy. I’m writing this ’cause I wanna remember now forever and ever. (: I’m gonna keep it like it is. That’s all.

I’ll love you ’til the end of this, I’ll take away your fear.

pullllmyhair — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 01:09:52 +0000

It scares me that I’m not too sure what the hell I wanna do for the rest of my life. Sometimes I feel really trapped here. Same thing over and over. I just wanna be excited. I wanna be able to go to sleep at night and look forward to tomorrow. There’s nothing wrong now, there is nothing wrong… but it’s just not right either. I want… more.

(:

pullllmyhair — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 14:55:21 +0000

I have to admit, I’ve been finding it hard lately and I (stupidly) have been letting people who don’t know me, really get to me. I’m kind of embarrassed actually. I never thought I was that person, the one who says she doesn’t care but deep down desperately does. Thankfully a little bit of late night browsing on boards.ie put things back into perspective for me. A comment made by a poster made me realise how ridiculous I’ve been. It was, “If one person says you smell, ignore it. If ten people do, buy soap.”

I’m sure those of you who write blogs yourselves and reveal anything remotely personal know that you’re likely to be tagged an “attention seeker”. It’s funny because it always comes from people who’ve never met you. In my experience, they usually hold a grudge against you for an entirely different reason, and instead of admitting that, they seem to think that attacks on your blog are more appropriate. For a while, I did worry. I worried about what kind of person I am, but I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m okay.

Y’see, my blog was never about attention. Those who know me would back me up. I’m just not a talker, that’s all. When things are bothering me, it’s very rare that I’ll come out and say it. That’s why I’ve ended up fucking up so much of my life. So I’m glad I had this blog, and I’ll forever be thankful for the friends that I’ve made through this and also, it’s been all kinds of helpful for connecting with friends I already had but couldn’t open up to.

It has helped me make realisations I probably wouldn’t have on my own. I know who my friends are. I used to just think people were genuine, everyone… but I was wrong. Some people have ulterior motives, and my gut feeling is usually pretty right. Trusting yourself is important. Knowing what’s important is precious, and understanding what isn’t, well I’m glad I got there.

/over

Protected: ‘Cause you saved my life once.

pullllmyhair — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 15:26:57 +0000

This post is password protected. You must visit the website and enter the password to continue reading.

RE : I hate titles.

pullllmyhair — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 15:26:31 +0000

So ‘I hate titles’ is a blog I wrote which is password protected. If anyone wants to read it, just ask and I’ll give you the password. (:

Protected: I hate titles.

pullllmyhair — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 15:20:43 +0000

This post is password protected. You must visit the website and enter the password to continue reading.

.

pullllmyhair — Sat, 16 Oct 2010 11:16:00 +0000

S’funny – only four posts in September. Every week, I go to therapy. I know, I know, it’s like my little secret, the way some people like, I dunno, listening to Britney Spears when they’re alone. I like having that hour, so I can say whatever the hell I want and it’s out there and that makes things okay, ’cause I said it so everything isn’t all big inside my head.

Anyway, every week, my therapist… ugh, ‘therapist’, asks me what have I blogged about and lately it’s just been, “Nothing”. I’m not blogging ’cause I don’t know what to say. I’m not blogging because the truth is, I can’t deal with strangers knowing things about me that I didn’t even really want anyone to know.

In the beginning, it seemed like a good idea. I was able to get all of this stuff out that was bothering me, and people were crazy supportive and it was fine. It’s still fine. People read, whatever, and they know and they form their opinions… But it was when it kinda hit me that certain people were reading this blog, and talking about it… Not to me, but to others… Well, that bugged me. I’m not gonna pretend it didn’t.

I’m just human, like everyone else and yeah, that kinda shit gets me. It upsets me.

I’m not gonna say I’m never gonna blog here ever again, ’cause who knows? Maybe I’ll be back tomorrow! But just for the record, I didn’t run outta words, I just ran outta strength and I got tired pretending I didn’t know what was going on.

Most people who read this probably won’t have a clue what this is about, but I’m guessing a few will know exactly and… I’m not too sure what is appropriate to say to those people. So… yeah.

I believe in miracles.

pullllmyhair — Thu, 30 Sep 2010 11:00:00 +0000

Neglecting this blog lately. Guess I have nothing to whinge about!

Next week, I properly start in college, after the huge mess that was my CAO. I’m excited. It’s been a pretty long time since I had a real reason to get up in the mornings, so I can’t wait for that. I’m gonna do my very best this year, for me, but for my mum too. I wanna make her proud. I know the last four years have been awful for her, worrying about the lack of direction in my life and stuff, and I really want to make her believe that everything is okay now.

I’m the happiest I’ve been probably ever. I used to get insanely down over the tiniest things, and I just don’t anymore. Life’s too short. Concentrate on the smiles, on the good.

Hmm, don’t think I have anything else to say. Hope everyone is doing good. <3

Letterzzz.

pullllmyhair — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 23:29:00 +0000

Day 18 – The person you wish you could be.

Y’know I’m not wishing I was someone else right now. I might wish I’d done some things differently in the past… but it’s all over and done with now and it’s okay. I’m pretty good being the person that I am. I don’t wish I was better, I know I’m working on it and that’s enough.

Dear me,
You’re doing all right.
Eh… From me.

Day 26 – The last person you made a pinky promise to.

I remember this one. It was with my friend, Ussher. I pinky promised that if he went into McDonald’s to buy ice cream, I wouldn’t drive away. (I once jokingly drove off, leaving him on a deserted road by himself, ya see. It was only for about two minutes, and I thought it was HILARIOUS. He didn’t! A car drove by him while I was gone and he jumped into a ditch ’cause he was so scared, BAHAHAHA. <3)

Dear Ussher,
You are very awesome. Bestest River Island friend ever. I miss our over the radio banter and Tesco trips after working the closing shift. I can’t believe we’re grown up’s now, it’s a little bit scary. Love you, ‘Sophie’
From me.

Day 30 – Your reflection in the mirror.

I dunno. I try not to think ’bout it.